Last Dumpling Meal on Death Row
This is the mother of all fobby recipes. Aptly, my mother and I are making these dumplings |饺子 together. They are traditionally made at family gatherings, where everyone can catch up and pitch in at the same time. There are many tasks that can be easily divvied up, ranging from simple chopping to the skilled hand-rolling of dumpling wrappers.
You’re not going to master this recipe your first go-around—I actually still haven’t. Dumplings are time-consuming and technical, which make them difficult to whip up when your only available sous-chef is White Boyfriend. However, when you do put in the time and effort, the results are simply to die for—in my case quite literally because I would hands down choose dumplings for my last meal on death row*.
So many traditional Beijing staples start simply with flour and water. In contrast to Meat Pancakes dough, dumpling dough requires cold water instead of warm. This will yield a slightly harder dough which will produce wrappers that can hold in the delicious filling and not break whilst boiling. Meat pancakes dough : Play-doh :: dumpling dough : Silly Putty. If this doesn’t make sense you better go to a toy department and pick up a couple of things, but I’m not sure if Silly Putty is still around. When you get back from the store you can knead that baby until a non-sticky dough forms, adding more water or flour depending on the texture. Let your dough baby rest, covered, while you move on to the filling.
The most arduous part of the filling is the preparation of the napa cabbage. A popular variation in my family is using chives instead of cabbage. While delicious, chives, quite frankly, make everyone gassy. My theory is that because they are a type of grass they should be left to the cows with rumens to digest. Stick to cabbage for a dinner party if you don't want everyone lining up for the bathroom.
Get your cabbage, green onions, and ginger finely chopped. Thank god for food processors. Just be careful that the vegetables don't get mushy from over-processing. You can also very well do this by hand, but have the TV on because it's going to take a while. The cabbage should be placed separately in a large bowl and sprinkled with salt to draw out the water.
After about 15 minutes, the cabbage will have shriveled slightly and be sitting helplessly in a pool of water. Using a cheesecloth, place small amounts of cabbage inside and squeeze out the water. This step takes forever, so again, have your favorite show or podcast playing. How about that Serial, huh? Is Adnan guilty?
If you haven't collapsed from exhaustion after the cabbage, you will be rewarded with the fun of watching ordinary pork transform into a delicious dumpling filling as you add each additional ingredient. Don't be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get your hands in there to combine everything thoroughly. Be sure to whip the end product vigorously and taste the filling (spit it out after) to make sure it's seasoned properly.
I know. We're still not done yet. Set your filling aside and get started on your dough. If you're lazy you can buy store-bought wrappers, but be forewarned that they won't be good enough for my death row meal if you do. Cut off about a third of the dough and roll out into a "snake". Be sure to dust work surface frequently with flour as needed. Cut off small sections, using a sharp knife and making quarter turns of the "snake" as you go. This will create sections that are triangular, which will flatten into almost perfect circles.
The next part is the rolling of the wrappers with a traditional Chinese rolling pin. This requires skillz that I'm not sure you have. You should watch YouTube videos and train before you take on the real deal. The key is to rotate your circle dough with one hand while rolling out the edges with the other. It is a rhythmic rocking motion that you'll slowly become faster and faster at. The reason the wrappers are rolled out this way is to ensure that the center is thick while the edges are thin.
This next part is fun to do with friends, so you could theoretically get everything up to this step ready before a dinner party and then have everyone over to make dumplings together.
Get an assembly line set up Henry-Ford-Motors-style. You should have a station for rolling out wrappers and one for putting the filling in the wrappers. Make sure you have a flour-dusted tray on hand for the finished dumplings.
The critical step after you put filling inside the wrapper and close the edges is where you "squeeze" the dumpling. This is step 5 in the image below. You may need to train for this one as well and watch YouTube videos. The idea is that when you lovingly squeeze the dumpling in your palms with your thumbs over the edges, it not only seals the dumpling properly but also helps shape the dumpling into a cute little guy.
Because these are eaten as the main course in Beijing, each person will need ten or more, so get busy creating your dumpling army.
When you're finally done making the dumplings, drop them gently in a pot of boiling water. You will need to do batches of about 15 or so depending on the size of your pot. They'll all come bobbing up to the top when they're done.
Try to contain yourself and make a dipping sauce before you start scarfing them down. White Boyfriend will create his own weird concoction of course, while I whip up a traditional peanut butter sauce--well, not exactly traditional because in Beijing you would use sesame butter, but I've had trouble finding the right kind here in the states. A smooth peanut butter works all the same. Serve immediately or fry up the leftovers as potstickers--not that there will be leftovers. A nap is probably in order now after all that hard work. Or if you're on death row, a permanent nap.
For the straight-up dumplings recipe, click here.
*This is not to say that Fobby Foody is a proponent of the death penalty.